Origin: One of the blogs I follow on tumblr did a challenge where you find an incorrect quotes generator, and generate quotes for you and your F/Os. IDK what an F/O is, and probably don't have one, so I used my OCs from Hear Me Out instead. Here are some ones I liked.

For Context's Sake since I haven't completely filled out all the profiles yet for these four:

• Jacob Berman: A depressed vampire who's slowly living vicariously through hello kitty, scene subculture, and that one jazmin bean song. Also so much men loving men panic, but we don't talk about that part.
• Iliphar Leojor: Overly cheerful elf who uses his interests in magic and playing with Sybil's daughter, Marisa to distract from the fact that he's on the brink of a crisis since he lost his sister, and is no longer allowed to contact his family or go into his hometown. Also he's the one causing most of Jacob's men loving men panic.
• Sybil: Sorcerer/Alchemist combo who's trying to run her own potions and spells pop-up shop. The shop is getting good enough business, but there's this one cleric for the local church that's trying to run her out of town for "Satanic Incantations and Drink". She just throws him out the store. She's been meaning to put up a hex that blocks him from coming anywhere near the shop. She sees the panic between Iliphar and Jacob, but isn't doing anything about, because this the most entertaining thing she's been in a household with.
• Marisa: A chaos child that's obsessed creating fucked up storylines with her plushies, and is still learning magic. May or may not be cursed to have HIV, despite her mom not having it. Oh yeah and the fact that she knows how to teleport herself and use telekinesis may or may not be an issue. She thinks that Jacob and Iliphar are in love with each other, and now thinks she has two uncles now (despite the fact that Iliphar wasn't her uncle in the first place).

Jacob: You know those things will kill you, right?

Iliphar, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Sybil, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Marisa: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Sybil: *tapping fingers on table*

Iliphar: *taps fingers back furiously*

Jacob: …What’s going on?

Marisa: Morse code. They’re talking.

Sybil: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Iliphar: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jacob: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Iliphar: Throw rocks at he.

Sybil: Hot Dogs.

Marisa: Kill him.

Jacob: Thanks guys.

Iliphar: Didn't you die?!

Jacob: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

Marisa: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Sybil: Where did you get that?

Marisa: My pocket.

Sybil: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Marisa: Skills.

Jacob, talking about Iliphar: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

Iliphar: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?

Jacob: Dude- Its satire!

Iliphar: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Jacob, talking to Iliphar on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Iliphar: You bet!

Jacob: At what temperature?

Iliphar: 535.

Jacob: That's the clock.

Iliphar:

Jacob

Iliphar: 536.

Marisa: What's your greatest fear?

Sybil: Being forgotten.

Marisa: ...

Marisa: Damn, that's deep.

Marisa: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now...

Iliphar: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Jacob: You always act stupid.

Jacob:

Jacob: Wait...

Jacob: Dammit, Iliphar!

Iliphar: What?! It wasn’t me!

Jacob: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sybil!

Sybil: Not me either.

Jacob: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Marisa: *whistles*

Marisa: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Sybil: Only if you also don't ask why

Sybil: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Marisa:

Sybil:

Marisa: This one is fine

Jacob: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Jacob: *Screams*

Iliphar: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Sybil: Should we do something?

Marisa: No, I want to see who wins.

Jacob: I think we're missing something.

Iliphar: Teamwork?

Sybil: Cohesion?

Marisa: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Sybil: Marisa what do you have?

Marisa: A KNIFE!

Sybil: NO!

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